The Regulation relation is the most uneven of the triangular relations. Generally, when two regulation types come together, the Regulator (SI+, P+, A-, Id) understands the mutual ignorance of the 4th function, and takes the lead by explaining processes. The Regulator confidently shares their perspective with the Regulatee, divulging all the ways in which they can experience life more fully. Pros and cons are discussed and considered. The Regulatee can grow tired of constantly being suppressed in this relation, as it’s quite one-sided.
Partners in this relation have enjoyable discussions despite occasional differences. The Regulator takes the lead in explaining all the ways in which their flexible aspect of life can be handled. Reviewing the options puts the Regulatee at ease because they are typically skeptical in the same arena of life. Feeling respected for their quirky views on this aspect, the Regulator is less apt to pressure the other to get over their insecurities despite their own confidence. While the Regulatee feels free to share even their negative reactions in this area, they may believe their partner overlooks their personal strengths.
The Regulator wields their confidence in a way that does not intimidate the Regulator. However, it is easy for the Regulatee to feel infantilized by their partner’s negotiations and conclusiveness. The area of life that the Regulatee enjoys lengthy discussion is the same area that the Regulator likes to decide and move on. They value the other’s strength in the same arena and find it easy to hold different opinions on the same subject. The Regulatee often agrees with the Regulator because they do not take seriously the results of the interaction. Wishing the Regulator valued their view more in this area, the Regulatee may express personal opinions more readily.
The leader of discussion is usually the Regulator, and sometimes they talk about uncomfortable and unsure feelings. They easily take into consideration the insecurities of their partner, so they expect the same treatment. The Regulatee perceives that they already adapt enough to their partner through the flexible function, as they often incorporate their opinions. Therefore, the Regulatee is not going to be naturally sensitive to the insecurities of the other. The Regulator sees their partner’s confidence as a threat or sometimes a betrayal of the accommodating part of the relationship. In relationships of Regulation, individuals can silence or try to change each other’s views in this area of life.
Arguments and enjoyable discussion alike bring a sense of refining the most important areas of life for the partners. They both devalue the same aspect of life so they can focus on comparing opinions of higher-level priorities. Believing this subject is best addressed by people outside of the relationship, the individuals wait until someone else takes control here. Issues relating to their shared oblivious aspect are overlooked until the situation makes it obvious. The Regulator and Regulatee realize they are similar people that just have different needs for security.